I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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