If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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