Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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