return my video game
I wish my penis had an off switch
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
