remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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