I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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