No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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