I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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