How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
