Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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