you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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