She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
