my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
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this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
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You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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