I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
