My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
