All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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