Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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