my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
