They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
