I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
