Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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