i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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