You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Randomize
