he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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