The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
