i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
