I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
