I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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