it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
