I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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