Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
