I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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