Small penises have feelings too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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