Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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