actually, I'm a sock model
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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