I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
