I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
