life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
