The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
