New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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