Just took my morning after pill in the library
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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