So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
