I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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