shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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