At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize