Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
