There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
