Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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