I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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