Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
