Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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