I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
