All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
