You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
