Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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