Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Pooping to opera.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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