STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
