It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
