no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
