Screwed.edu
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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