then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
